Happy Rebirthday To Me: Being Reborn After My Cancer Diagnosis

Before my rebirthday

Imagine a girl year before her rebirthday, before she got her cancer diagnosis.

Young and healthy with long black hair, intelligent and ambitious, high hopes for the future. She was driven to be something more in this world but didn't know what that was, so she spent most of her life trying to figure it out.

Four years before my rebirthday

It started when she got her first job two weeks after high school because she had nothing to do. She then started college and took a second job because she had the time to. There was a time when she worked two jobs and went to two schools because she knew she could.

The girl was the youngest in her family and the first girl to finish college while working. Yet, she felt unaccomplished compared to her siblings. She went into a career that was 100% commission to prove to herself and others that she could do something most people weren't willing to do.

The two primary goals in her life were to get married and start a business. She ran a couple of businesses here and there, married her best friend, and then began a business from scratch with a friend. All this by the time she was 28. Once she achieved her goals, she decided it was time to settle into Corporate America.

Settling into workaholism

As she settled into a 9 to 5 role, she realized her ambition and drive to succeed were still there. She put all her determination into climbing the corporate ladder at a Fortune 500 company.

The girl took the initiative when no one would put in extra hours and went the extra mile because she was taught to do that. She was a model employee and one of the best in her field, but no matter how good she was, her company would never promote or teach her everything she wanted to learn. She became tired, burnt out, and unhappy in less than two years.

As much as she wanted to walk away, she couldn't. Society told her she should only walk away from one job once she had another job lined up. She had reached a point where she couldn't stop her brain from thinking about work, even for a short vacation. Her emails were always at her fingertips, and her calendar was always full. Workaholism took over her mental state, and there was no stopping it by any traditional means.

So her body took control of the situation. The only way to stop her from working herself to death was to have her face her mortality. She was diagnosed with breast cancer at the age of 30. That's when her journey began.

What is a "rebirthday?"

The rebirthday of a cancer patient is the day of their diagnosis and the day their lives are forever changed. Their mind, body, and soul all change from that moment on. It is as if they have died and are reborn as someone else.

A rebirthday is what others might call their "Cancerversary." I don't use that term because I feel like I'm giving power to CANCER.

My health coach also calls her diagnosis day her rebirthday, and I just thought it sounded way more fun. Rebirthday is also more fitting for both of us because we became new people through our healing journey and let go of versions of ourselves we no longer needed to be.

The lump I found around my work anniversary is not a coincidence.

My time in Corporate America was the most stressful time of my life, and there was no way I could stop myself from trying to make it count. I got the call two years ago on February 16th and changed everything.

Read: Why I Founded Pink Strength After Battling Breast Cancer

A blessing in disguise

Having breast cancer forced me to stop working and allowed me to focus on who I wanted to be. I remember thinking, "If I die, I'm okay with that. I did what I wanted to do this life which is cool because not everyone gets to say that."

But if I live, this is my chance to determine my purpose in life. "If I live, I won't take this time for granted."

I knew having cancer was a blessing in disguise. It would take something to cut through the noise and the heaviness that comes with it.

Kristian's recovery was not just physical, it was also mental.

I fought throughout my whole journey, physically, of course, but mentally too. I did everything I could to always look for the silver lining in the situation. Mental toughness was my strength, but I could only be tough for so long.

Maintaining hope and strength is hard when every day is a conversation about whether I will live or die. Eventually, the fear that comes with cancer caught up to me. It devastated me to hear I would have to undergo chemotherapy.

Chemo kills every cell in your body, and the side effects can be extreme. Having to undergo chemo made me feel like I no longer had the will to fight.

So I had to call in reinforcements.

Rebirthday reinforcements

I hired an Empowerment Health Coach, Anuschka Alborzian, a cancer survivor/thriver, who taught me how to seek the gift in the most challenging moments. The greatest gift she gave me was to reframe my mindset around this journey as something that would empower me.

For most people,

CANCER = DEATH

To Anuschka, and now to me,

CANCER = REBIRTH

Something shifted in me when she said it, and I started to see the gift in it all again. I once again embraced my journey, which now included chemo. When I lost my hair and thought I would cry, I laughed and smiled instead. I enjoyed Epsom salt baths and naps when the bone pain and fatigue set in. This journey was my chance to finally REST.

Empowerment Health Coach Anuschka helped Kristian redefine her experience with cancer as a new beginning, not just a final chapter.

Having breast cancer was my rebirth. Being reborn was my chance to be different, make different choices, have balance in my life, and do the things I always wanted to do but put off. It was my chance to escape from everything I didn't want anymore but couldn't walk away from before. This was my second chance at life, and I wouldn't take it for granted.

Today, I practice gratitude and balance. My career is only a piece of who I am instead of my whole life. I no longer chase promotions or do things because that's what society taught me was normal. I take breaks and vacations and make sure my health, friends, and family come first.

I started Pink Strength to help other cancer warriors find their purpose in life.

Life is all about living. My experience with cancer taught me that. It was a wake-up call- a REBIRTH! The path cancer put me on redefined what cancer meant to me, and I am grateful for it.